2013

Let's see....2013.

Wow.

It has simultaneously been one of the hardest and one of the best years of my life. It started out with the fragile hope that my early pregnancy would actually result in a real, live baby. It's ending with the fragile hope that I can overcome the post partum depression that has knocked me on my ass since our beautiful, perfect son was born in July.

And everything in between?

Lots of change and BIG THINGS in 2013.

• I went to Japan for some training for work. It is sort of a blur though. I was 20ish weeks pregnant and got a noro-virus. I hope to go back one day under more travel-friendly circumstances.
• We sold our beloved townhouse and moved across town to S's family home....big house, big yard and great vibes in the house. We're still getting settled and I often wonder if I will ever be completely settled here.
• In July, I worked my last day of work before leaving for 18 months maternity leave.
• I gave birth to a beautiful boy. We named him London. Like the city.
• My relationship with my closest friends fell apart somehow but I'm honestly not sure how or why it happened. I miss them.
• Baby started preschool three afternoons a week and is registered for kindergarten next year. We are still considering homeschooling or some sort of hybrid.

Life is very busy yet I still find myself unable to accomplish much beyond making sure we're all fed, clothed and bathed. I wish I could blog about being a super mama that does it all but in reality I just get by most days. And most days I'm just fine with that.

Kindergarten registration day!

Little One still doesn't like to be put down!

First snowman in our new yard

5 months old!

Birthday fairy is worn out...she's 4 now!

Baby, Baby!

I had a baby! I believe I may have failed to share that with y'all. Oops. 

London, 8lb 5oz, was born on July 26, 2013 at Children's Hospital after a very quick, very efficient labour and birth. He is super healthy, super cute and super loved. 

I have yet to write a proper birth story but here are some quick notes:

• I was induced at 38w 1d with a cervidil insert - worked like a charm and contractions started about 6 hours later
• Active labour only lasted about an hour or so....pushed for about 40 minutes and there he was
• I had gestational diabetes and was on 4 injections of insulin a day (my reason for choosing to birth in a hospital this time)
• I had another 2nd degree tear
• I ended up asking for an epidural....I got it 5 minutes before I started pushing 
• I seemed to be more alert and present for the physical part of this birth
• I had a midwife and doula again...and an OB and two nurses
• Nursing is going fine except for some over-supply issues
• I'm still in shock that I created another life and that he has joined our family

London at about 30 minutes old

First family photo of 4

36 weeks

I'm in the home stretch now. New baby could be here in 1-4 weeks. I guess I will need a new name to call Baby here as it could get confusing.

I have 2 days of work left as well. Everything is suddenly changing so very quickly. I'm nervous about this birth, more nervous than I was the first time around. I don't seem to have the confidence that I had with Baby's birth. Maybe I know too much this time. Too much of the negative stuff that is. The stuff that you read about that sounds unthinkable and takes your breath away if you sit and think about it too long.

This baby is measuring huge. Baby was big (9 1/2lbs) but I think this one may be even bigger. Yowza. My midwife suggested today that we get ready for sooner rather than later. Emotionally that sounds harder than the logistical stuff. We are mostly ready at home...except for moving some more furniture to the new house asap. We have baby clothes washed and put away, cloth diapers still need to be washed, car seat is ready to be installed and we have a couple of carriers. Other than pick up some lanolin I feel ready as far as "stuff." Physically I'm feeling good. The heat has been challenging and my ankles/feet are swollen all day long now. I'm getting more and more tired each day. And I'm pretty huge - measuring 40 weeks in fact. But, as I said, I feel good for the most part. Now I just need to wrap my head around the idea that we're actually going to have another child.....soon!

I made it to my 30s!

When you've dealt with birth loss in the past, every week of pregnancy can seem like a huge milestone. Making it to the "30 something" weeks is a huge milestone. I'll be 31 weeks this week. Hard to believe it's only 6 weeks until I'm considered "term." Of course, I hope this little one waits a few more weeks than that before making his or her entrance into the world.

29 weeks

Baby was born at just over 39 weeks and for some reason I have it in my head that this one will be similar. I imagine I'll be sorely disappointed if I go past 40 weeks. Not a good expectation to have! But we'll see. Most days, I'm in no hurry for this pregnancy to end. I'm still enjoying it and savouring the wiggles and kicks and the daydreams about what this little one will be like and how our lives will change once again when he or she arrives.

My last day of work is in 6 weeks as well. Another big milestone. Work is pretty exciting and very busy these days so it's with mixed feelings that I'm looking forward to being off for 18 months. I'm lucky that I love what I do. But I love being home with my kiddo even more so it's not too hard to get over the wistful feelings I have.

Lots of milestones, lots of big feelings (for everyone in our home) and lots of excitement.