Here I am almost 2 months into 2013 and my life is already changing in exciting (and somewhat scary) ways!
The first exciting thing that is happening is that I'm pregnant again...16 weeks today. 4 months. One month away from 1/2 way "there." It still seems odd to say that out loud. Looking down and seeing my rapidly growing belly and feeling little knocks and bubbles as this new little one dances around inside me is indeed a bit shocking to me still.
However, a few weeks later I realized that every time I thought about what we had decided it didn't sit right with me. It felt wrong to give up. Had I really done everything I could possibly do? What if one more try was all it took? S and I talked it over and it turned out she felt the same way. We decided to take 3 months off to work on some self care and have another crack at it. In November we had that last crack at it...and here I am 4 months pregnant with a seemingly healthy baby growing in me.
I'm glad I trusted my gut on this one. I'm glad I didn't give up. Even if I lose this baby too, I don't regret having this last chance. And if this baby is born and S, Baby and I can love him or her with all our hearts, I think I might just die of gratitude.