I never expected this...

Motherhood is intense. It's so much more than what I thought it would be. There is so much I wasn't expecting...and so much I wasn't prepared for...

1. Postpartum depression - I never saw myself as a candidate for being at risk of PPD. I am still shocked at how intense my feelings are since giving birth to Baby. I don't think I have it "bad" but I'm definitely struggling at times. It's hard.
2. How much I love Baby - I love her so much that sometimes it still takes my breath away. It is spectacular and pure.
   
3. Having to "give up" my independence - I don't dislike this so much as the intensity of a baby's needs has just surprised me somehow.
4. How sore my body still is from the pregnancy - My joints feel like an 80 year old's! (I was somewhat happy to learn that 3 new moms - a 29 year old, a 30 year old and a 40 year old - I've become acquainted with recently all reported feeling exactly the same way...phew)
5. How much a baby would change my relationship with S. - The exhaustion, coupled with the steep learning curve of new parenthood, can take its toll...I wish I had been more prepared for this.

Every day I'm learning and striving to be a better mom, a better partner and a better individual.

Wish me luck ;)