Saturday, September 18, 2010

Home Alone

S & Baby went off to their first Music Together class today. S has been looking forward to this day since before Baby was even conceived! I hope they have fun together. S works so hard and such long hours I feel like she's missing out on so much these days. I'm so very grateful for the first 5 months she had off work. And, she's off again in October for a month or so!

So, that leaves me home alone for a few hours (they were going out on an adventure after). So far I've done the dishes, made and drank some Milkmaid Tea (I've never tried it before..good stuff!), put away Baby's toys, put together an Ikea bookshelf for under the stairs and turned the music up really loud. I find I really miss Baby when I'm not with her. I love having time to myself, don't get me wrong. And I know time alone is good for me. I sometimes have panic attacks when I think that I'll never be alone again. Ever. But, here I am alone for at least another couple of hours and I don't know what to do with myself! I should take a long bath (yep, still in my pjs), read a book, lay on the couch and veg out. Realistically though, there are a million things to be done. Chaos is threatening the house again and I find it really stressful to navigate physical chaos when I'm sometimes dealing with the emotional chaos that can come along with long days with a now very mobile baby. I actually like cleaning up and organizing our home. It's just that I can't get ANYTHING done lately. How the heck do people keep their house clean and organized, cook meals and actually eat them when they have children??? I sure can't seem to figure it out. I was in tears twice this week by the evening as I looked around the house in despair. Just 5 minutes I keep saying to myself, all I need is 5 minutes!


Then I remember that Baby will only be small once in her life. This is it. It's a one shot, one way ticket. And I don't want to miss a thing. So, the house can wait and I'll eat healthy later.

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