Monday, September 6, 2010

So Fast

Baby pulled herself up to standing on her own this weekend. She also started taking a step while pulling herself up on this little wooden block wagon thingy. It feels like she's just suddenly going so fast. It's very exciting and I love watching her be successful at all she's trying but I am slightly sad too. I feel like she's growing up so fast. I feel like she's already not my baby anymore!

As she grows and gains more and more independence, I hope I'm able to balance my feelings of wanting to protect her with wanting her to succeed on her own. I want her to be brave and confident but also be careful and approach things with wisdom. I think confidence can come from different places. I was very confident growing up. I felt like I could do anything I put my mind to (for the most part). I was quite successful at most things I tried. However, I think my confidence came from determination and trying to "prove something" and a little from fear. I sometimes wonder if my confidence as a child was actually a way of trying to hide my fear. Like maybe I tried extra hard to be tough or good so I could prove that nothing was wrong or scary.

I would like Baby's confidence to come from security and love. I want her to know that I'm always here for her and that she can express herself and be heard always. And she doesn't have to be afraid. More than anything, I don't want her to do anything out of fear. I believe I can create this environment for her. I hope I can.

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